There seems to be a worrying increase in the number of single Christians I know that simply disappear from church life. There is a lot of pressures for singles to confirm to society’s patterns for relationships, to just live together, if it doesn’t work out, you just move onto someone else, and that marriage is an old fashioned institution. I think this something that Christians are not immune to.
There is not a lot spoken about what’s ideal for single Christians. I know dating a non-believer is a bad idea, but its not something spoken about much in church. I think I can count on two hands good friends that have vanished from church life because of this. But the scriptures only tends to brought up when someone has got into this situation. Should churches invest more time and resources into these people?
Often issues for non attached Christians are not always about dating and looking, its about your identity. You get tired of being asked things like “oh, you will meet someone someday..” “You need to be more holy..” or being in between teenagers/students and couples isn’t always much fun. Granted I am friends with couples in churches as well though, but very few of my close friends are single now.
I think this must be much harder here in Israel for both local Jewish and Arab believers in Jesus who are single, as the numbers of other believers are not that many. Most of the social circles in churches in my city seems to be around kids and youthwork, or in college or university and I think nearly all Christians that I know that are recently married met this way. I am not really into youth/kids ministry, feel the Lord has wanted me to be a first point of contact with new adults in the church, with people in the secular work place, etc. My work here in Israel has meant this particular season of my life means that meeting someone isn’t likely to happen at the moment.
Doing volunteer work has been good for me in terms of stretching out and being challenged in meeting new people. Should churches provide teaching specifically for single Christians that are post-education with fear of any kind of stigma? Should cell groups speak about issues that affect single people? Do churches want to invest all that time in young people that are not attached only to find they disappear post-education adult life? How did single Christians meet people from other congregations before the internet?
Christian books for singles. Some of these do make me want to cringe. For instance this popular one. I kissed dating goodbye. The title just seems to scream a nannying kind of attitude. Ok I will be honest and say I haven’t read this, so maybe this is unfair, there is differing opinions on the Amazon reviews.
Please note I am not interested in being recommended Christian dating sites, nor am I asking for sympathy, I am just looking for a modern and relevant biblical perspectives for today’s Christian singles.